Most congenial "this book sucks" review:

romanticafanatic writes ""Between the Sheets" by Meg Bellamy
Triskelion Publishing
Amethyst Inferno/ contemporary
ISBN# 1-932866-49-3
Pricing: $4.99
2 stars


After a 4-year hiatus, Courtney Clayton is back in action and she wants to change her teenage idol, pop singer status to full-grown woman pop singer.



Dylan, a 28-year-old movie critic, is asked by his good friend, Courtney’s new hotshot producer, to listen to and critique Courtney’s not yet released CD. Dylan thinks she has a great voice but he doesn’t think her voice has the life experience quality that it takes to sing the romantic songs she put on the CD.

When Dylan dares to tell Courtney that she isn’t grown up enough to sing romantic songs she feels challenged and insists on convincing him that she has grown up, and that she is definitely woman enough to sing any song. She’s even willing to “suffer for her work” and have sex with him just to get him to change his mind. Dylan can’t help the attraction he feels for Courtney and “allows” her to seduce him, and after one incredible night spent in each other’s arms he thinks that he may have been a little hasty in saying she wasn’t mature enough. But now, Courtney realizes that Dylan was right all along, and now she knows she has to re-record the songs.

I think the author did well with descriptive scenes and plot building, however I think the story line and characters are very immature. Right from the beginning Courtney is spoiled-rotten, petulant, and immature and it shows when she thinks that after one bout of great sex with Dylan her tone of voice will reflect her newfound sexual maturity. I won’t even tell you what I think of a 28-year-old “man” who thinks sexual experience makes a woman mature enough to sing romantic songs. I think this story line could be appealing to a very young age group (i.e. teenage Britney Spears fans), however due to the graphic sex scenes I could not recommend it for anyone under the age of 18. Unfortunately I don’t think this story line will be appealing to most mature readers.

-- submitted by Mrs. H.

---

An entry for Most Convincing (either to read or not read a book) from Amazon reviewer J. Mullally "CBDB".  It certainly convinced me not to read. This is absolutely the worst book I have ever read. The writing is like that of a two year old, the character's motivations as well. Nothing rings true, not even the anger or desire for revenge. It devalues the experience of every single woman who has ever been raped, and also every woman who has lost a child to a hit and run driver. This isn't entertainment on any level, and there is certainly nothing morally uplifting about this overwrought tripe.
The woman in question who is raped is not only raped, she is raped and sodomized in front of her husband who is handicapped and can't help her. Talk about laying on the sensationalism with a trowel.

I am appalled that this book was published, even more shocked to see that it is part of a series-apparently a seven book series. This book was brief enough, printed in large print, I doubt it was even 50,00 words, but however many it was, it was way too many for me. It was predictable, overwrought, and just shows that publishers will do anything for sensationalism, and for new 'product', a book with a prominent writers name on it. And this author has the gall to think she has invented a new genre, 'the man in peril'.I think everyone offended by this book should complain to the publisher, and perhaps the rest of these extremely offensive series will be confined to the trash heap.

Spoiler:

How they can surgically castrate the three men, leave their testicles in plastic bags, and then find it FUNNY when the men turn up at a doctor's office (not the hospital?) to ask to have them put back, is just too sick for words. And the doctor's secretary selling the story to the tabloids for $50000 is even more sick. Avoid this loser of a series if you have any taste or sense.

-- submitted by C Vowels.

Two great reviews! Keep them coming!

I'm not sure if I'm too late or not. (How did March creep up on me so quickly?) Anyway, here's a review I wrote last year.

* * * * * * * * * *

Should Have Been Her Child
by Stella Bagwell
(Silh. Spec. Ed #1570, $4.75, PG) ISBN 0-373-24570-X

One Heart

Should Have Been Her Child is the first book in Stella Bagwell’s new “Man of the West” series. Since I have a fondness for stories with law enforcement elements, I hoped this would be the start of an exciting new series. Perhaps it should have been . . . but now I know better.
Jess Hastings, the undersheriff of San Juan County, Texas, discovers a dead body on a remote part of the T Bar K ranch, which is owned by Russ Ketchum. But Jess has a more personal connection to someone else at the ranch, Russ’ sister, Victoria. Victoria and Jess were lovers five years ago until Jess asked her to leave Texas with him. Out of a sense of obligation to her father, Victoria refused to leave with Jess. He subsequently left the area, got married, had a daughter, got a divorce, and returned to San Juan County. Jess has full custody of his daughter, Katrina.

The investigation into the mysterious death forces Jess and Victoria to face each other again. It’s an interesting reunion. While wondering whether the death was accidental or caused by foul play, Victoria “tried not to notice his big hands or remember the pleasure they used to give her.” This occurs only a few paragraphs after she hears the news. Yeah, that would be my reaction, too.

Jess reciprocates with equally passionate (and equally inappropriate) thoughts, remembering how she felt “cupped in his hands.” In between their lust-filled memories and the occasional relevant question from Jess, these two spend the remainder of the conversation trading insults, such as Jess’ “I expect common courtesy from everyone. Including you Ketchums.” And from Victoria: “You’re despicable! You’re not fit to be this county’s undersheriff!

Here's part two:

Despite this mutual animosity and attraction, Jess doesn’t consider turning the case over to someone else, even though he is obviously less than objective. The interview concludes with Jess giving Victoria a passionate kiss, then storming away. Standard police procedure, I’m sure.

Thus ends chapter one.

Of course, there are several more plot developments: Jess investigates the death (though it’s not resolved in this book; watch for a sequel); Katrina catches scarlet fever and is nursed by Victoria (who is also a doctor); Jess and Victoria have sex and argue some more. She’s mad at Jess because he left when she rejected him. (Can you imagine — the nerve of that man!) Her reasoning: “I know that if you’d really wanted me, you wouldn’t have let me go. You wouldn’t have walked away. And you wouldn’t have waited four years to come back.”

Jess is mad at Victoria because she didn’t leave with him and therefore didn’t really love him. To make matters worse, she got exactly what she wanted when he had sex with her: “As long as Victoria Ketchum got what she wanted everything was wonderful in her eyes. But then how could he fault her for what just happened between them? Jess asked himself. He’d gotten what he wanted too, hadn’t he?” Yes, that one baffled me too, but the story’s conflict requires them both to be angry, so there you go.

While Jess and Victoria’s arguments are bad enough, their internalizing is worse. Here’s one of Jess’ romantic ideas about Victoria: “He’d thought nothing could ever get under his skin again. But he'd been wrong. Victoria was like a grub worm burrowing deeper and deeper inside him.” I think it’s good that he kept this sentimental comparison to himself.

Bottom line — Jess and Victoria spend a lot of time talking and bickering, but they don’t communicate. Because we never see beyond the surface of the characters, it’s hard to be interested. Their emotion

And part 3:

Bottom line — Jess and Victoria spend a lot of time talking and bickering, but they don’t communicate. Because we never see beyond the surface of the characters, it’s hard to be interested. Their emotions swing back and forth between desire and distrust, so the ending seems like just another swing instead of a true resolution of their feelings and concerns.

With all of these problems, I can’t advise you to give Should Have Been Her Child a try. You’re likely to discover that you should have taken a pass.

--Alyssa Hurzeler

Review of Knight or Knave by Andre Norton and Sasha Miller
KNIGHT OF KNAVE (the title doesn't have a great deal to do with the story,
but I'm prepared to give Norton and Miller the benefit of the doubt on
this one. Editors often create names out of nothing), is an
impressionistic novel. A great deal happens. Men fight and die. Women are
kidnapped and rescued. Magic is cast. Yet Norton and Miller fail to give
these events any particular weight. Ashen transforms herself from a kind
woman to a complete shrew when Rohan's love is magically enchanted and
helpless. Rather than wanting to help her, Ashen schemes to rid herself of
this burden. Even Ysa isn't so petty. Similarly, Obern is transformed from
a kind and generous man to a self-concerned jerk. Admittedly many women
feel that their husbands suffer a similar transformation so this might not
be so far-fetched. Still, in a novel, these things need to occur for a
reason and in KNIGHT OR KNAVE, they don't.

Most Convincing

While chasing a psychopathic mass killer, Night Watch commander Sam Vimes,
and the killer, are plunged into the past of Sam's youth. Once there, they
can't help change history. The killer murders the man who taught young
Vimes what he knows about policing. Unless he can apprehend the killer and
return to the present, Vimes risks the destruction of the city he loves.
But even if he succeeds, he knows that his actions in the past will change
everything--including his marriage and his prospective child.

Author Terry Pratchett (see more BooksForABuck.com reviews of novels by
Pratchett) has carved out a reputation as a writer who both makes you
laugh--and think. The Discworld fantasy series is uniformly excellent, but
NIGHT WATCH rates near the top of even this fine series. Vimes is a fully
realized character. It is interesting to watch him relate to his younger
self, and to the men who will someday be his leader and most faithful
followers. Philosophical questions about

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